Wordless Wednesday

Okay, I'm a little late. But it's about 6am here so maybe it still counts as yesterday?

Very Sad...RIP Randy Pausch

Awhile back, I saw Randy Pausch on Oprah. He was talking about how he was giving his last lecture as a college professor because he was terminally ill. Words can not describe Randy Pausch. Watch his last lecture and you will understand.

So, RIP Randy Pausch. You will be missed by this world.

A Letter to The Bachelorette

Dear DeAnna -

Please tell me that last night I had a major nightmare and in it, you chose Jesse over Jason. Please say that that didn't really happen. Being that I am pretty sure that Jesse is the reality, I have to tell you that I am very disappointed in your decision. On so many levels. And although Jesse is a rad guy with a great handshake, I can almost promise you that later on when you are a little bit wiser than your 26 years, you will look back and regret this decision.

Jason is the complete package - he's adorable, devoted, a great dad and has a great family. He's looking for love, looking for commitment and wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. Jason would be loyal, he would love you forever. He's got a great job, would be able to support you and any kids that came along and is all around amazing. His family is big and fun, and they accepted you with open arms and wanted you to join them. This guy took off his suit of armor and let you in, and you behaved as you swore you wouldn't - you acted just like Brad.

Jesse is cute and fun, and his life in Breck is probably totally awesome, but didn't it bother you in the least that everytime he saw you, he thought you were "so hot" and everything you did was "so ridiculous"? Of course the dates were amazing, ABC was footing the bill. Sweetie, your life is not going to be anywhere near what you experienced the past 6 weeks. Do you think that Jesse will be able to support you and children financially while he's snowboarding? What happens when he gets hurt? Or old? What will he be doing after he turns 30 (gasp), other than looking exactly like his dad?

Oh DeAnna, from the beginning my bets were on Jason. From the very first episode. He was so sincere and was there for all the right reasons. He was there for love. I have to say, I was surprised when you kept advancing Twilley, but in retrospect, I think that that had to be the part of the producers. No woman looking for love would keep Twilley around, he's a total idiot. Jesse was the clown, the fun guy, he brought some spunk to the duds on this show. I liked him and was happy you kept giving him roses, but I certainly never thought he would wind up in the final 2, much less the last man standing. I thought the end would be Jeremy and Jason. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you eliminated Jeremy. He wasn't right for you. He actually was a little bit on the creepy side. Other than losing a parent, you really had nothing in common. And he was a little too over the top. And did I mention a little creepy?

But Jesse? Really? What can he provide for you? Fun going down a mountain? Endless pairs of pink shoelaces? He didn't even have an answer for your dad when he asked him what he would do when his snowboarding career is over. Are you really going to live in Breckenridge? In the snow? Because there's no way that Jesse is going to move to Atlanta. You can't snowboard there. And I'm sure that Atlanta doesn't rank up there on his list of rad places to live. Plus your family makes him way too nervous to be around them for extended periods of time, ie, more than 10 minutes.

Enough about you being a "free spirit". Seriously. You're looking for your soulmate, someone to marry and have children with. Your days of being a free spirit are over. If you were going to make a bad decision, you should have chosen Graham. That would have at least been fun.

Jesse will always be a little boy. He's like Peter Pan, he'll never grow up. That might be a problem after a few years and a couple of kids because you will always feel like you have an extra child. But you will grow up, DeAnna, and you will want grown up things. You'll want conversations that go beyond "you're hot" and "totally ridiculous".

I do wish you happiness, but I know enough to be certain that you and Jesse just aren't meant to be. I don't think that you two will ever get married, and if you do, it will be very short lived. You'll look back on your days of Bachelorette-dom and regret your decision to ever let Jason get away from you.

Oh, DeAnna, Jesse is so not right for you. You made a really bad decision. Keep thanking Brad, because he's definitely having a good laugh right about now.

Love,
Your friends in NY

Four, Four, Four

Someone just sent this to me, and as I sit and cry about The Bachelorette and her decision with which I do NOT agree, I'm going to wipe the tears away and play. Feel free to play along with me - make sure to let me know you played!

A - Four places that I go to repeatedly - work, Target, supermarket, gas station

B - Four people who e-mail me regularly - Anna, Allison, Matt & Craig

C - Four favorite places eat - Maroni's (Northport), Laguna Grill (Syosset), Kumo (Plainview), Pastaria (Plainview)

D - Four TV shows I watch all the time - The Bachelorette, Big Brother, Grey's Anatomy & Flipping Out

E - Four places I would rather be right now - Disney, Greece, Hawaii, Italy

First Week Down, Seven To Go

Camp started this week here in NY. Aaron graduated pre-k at the beginning of June and had two full weeks of being home. Due to my current crappy work situation, the kids were mostly home with our nanny while I was off dealing with bank reconciliations and unpaid bills. Our nanny, although very nice, is not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, if you know what I mean. Here's an example. While at work, I receive a phone call; it went something like this.

Nanny: Aaron threw up.
Me: Threw up or spit up? (Side note - Aaron has been known to cough up some pflegm and wind up spitting up a little bit, yes, even at 5 years old, but it's not full on vomiting. Sorry if that's TMI).
Nanny: Threw up.
Me: Alot or a little?
Nanny: A little. Umm....maybe alot. Yeah, alot.
Me: Was he coughing?
Nanny: I don't know. He came into the kitchen and said he had to throw up. Then he threw up. On the carpet. I put the carpet outside.
Me: Does he have a fever?
Nanny: I don't know.
Me: Does he feel sick?
Nanny: I don't know.

I'm sure you get the idea. Before anyone jumps down my throat, our nanny is totally capable, I obviously wouldn't leave my kids with anyone who wasn't. The kids are safe with her, and that's pretty much what matters. The fact that she's not a brain surgeon, well, it sort of just is what it is. She's the mom of three kids and she does know how to take care of children, I'm not really worried. She's just not becoming a member of Mensa anytime soon. Moving on.

My kids spent these two interim weeks with their friends around the block and our two nannys, who are also friends. They did all have fun going to the park, swimming in the kiddie pools and playing at each other's houses, but towards the end of the two weeks, it was clear that the nannies the kids were very ready for camp to start.

This year Aaron is going to a new camp. No more nursery school camp, he's hit the big time. The 2,000+ campers range in age from 3 to about 15. There are a gazillion counselors and specialists, 7 swimming pools, ponies, golf, electric jeeps, water slides, huge playgrounds and fields, basketball, golf and pretty much any other sport that you can name. All of the kids have a blast (hell, I would love to go here every day for 8 weeks) and it's very well worth the 2 arms and 2 legs money that it costs to send them there. Monday was the first day. Aaron was nervous, I saw him doing the thing with his hands that he always does.He got dressed and we applied the sunscreen as we waited outside for the bus. When we saw the yellow of the bus peeking around the corner, I could tell he was putting his brave face on. The bus came, the bus counselor was great, and Aaron got on the bus, buckled in and off he went. It was 840am, and I was off to work. When I came home, I met the bus at 445pm. Long day for a 5 year old! But the smile that bounded off of that bus was absolutely priceless. He had a great day, did a million things and got to spend the whole day playing with his friends. And the best part was that he was so exhausted that when my clock read 745pm, he was fast asleep.

Tuesday morning, he wakes up and he's all ready to go to camp. The catch today (because nothing is ever that easy) is that it's Cami's first day of camp. Cute little nursery school/gym camp where she's going to spend 3 hours twice a week for eight weeks. She definitely is on the receiving end of Second Kid Syndrome - she's getting dropped off, we never met the teachers and we don't know another kid that's going. Understand that I never - I repeat NEVER - would have done this to with my first kid. So although I am worried about how she's going to separate, she's going to camp. Although she's spent a good part of her two years with a nanny, it's always been in our house with her stuff and no other little kids. Here, she was being dropped off at a place that she'd been to about 150 times, but never by herself. We talked about how she was going to go play at camp and have fun, see other kids, eat lunch and then I would come back and pick her up. She was all for it, but as soon as she saw the kids going inside without the mommies, she started to cry. The teacher brought her in and later told me she was great after about 20 minutes. Today was her second day and apparently she thinks she's the teacher's purse and started to cry each time the teacher put her down. Poor teacher, but she'll probably build up some great muscles this summer, carrying around a 24 pound two year old.

As of 5pm this afternoon, our first week of camp is officially over. Aaron passed a swimming test and is now a "Guppy 2" which is apparently better than a "Guppy 1". He's played basketball with "a really, really, really tall guy, like a tree", scammed a counselor into buying him a Snapple from the vending machine, eaten pretty well and made some new friends, even though he doesn't remember their names. Cami, well, not so much. "I don't want to go to camp" she said, in her 2 year old speak. My hope is that by the time she starts school in September, she'll be over it.

Do You Know The Secret?

Awhile back, I started to read The Secret. I started to read it, understand it and really want to live it. I'm not religious, not too spiritual and really had no basis in wanting to live this way, other than just wanting to bring my life to what I envision it to be. So I started reading, and because I am a mom of two kids, I put the book down at some point and didn't pick it up again. Ever.

The other night during one of my non-sleeping episodes, I was going through my TiVO programs at about 4am and decided to watch Oprah. The episode was all about people who lived their lives according to the power of positive thinking. Think that good things will happen and they will. Think that you will get what you want and it will come. Envision your life a certain way and you will achieve that.

I'll admit, I am a negative person. I don't know why, I don't know what made me that way, but I tend to find the not-so-great qualities in something before I see the great ones. I always think there's something going on behind-the-scenes and you don't get something for nothing. I throw out sweepstakes entries and delete e-mails that say I won something. I guess a better word is skeptical as opposed to negative. Well, maybe not.

Right now, I am at a crossroads at my life with respect to my work and career and I am trying to make a decision that will not only impact me but will impact my whole family. And my kids. And that's where my problem is. I'm afraid to do anything that will negatively impact my kids. Right now, although I am not thrilled with certain aspects of where I am, it is working for us. I'm working part time, I'm home part time, I work on my business part time, and I'm able to spend some quality time with my family. Moving forward with my decision, well, I'm not sure of where things will wind up, and it's possibly that they wind up in a worse place than I am now. But the other side is that I could wind up in a place that I love, that my kids will love, where we will all be so much happier. We just might not be able to afford to eat on the ride there.

So I question the power of positive thinking. I'm a CPA. An accountant. An analyst to a fault. I make lists. Lots of them. Pros and cons, things to do, things I want to do, reasons for doing things. I do alot of research and am very into facts. Cold hard facts. But my fact right now is that I'm not happy. I don't know if making this decision will make me happy, which makes me pretty afraid to take the plunge. I wonder if I adopt the power of positive thinking, I mean really adopt it, will that make it work?

I just accidentally knocked my glass of iced tea over on my desk onto all of the paperwork I was just doing. Might that be a sign? Sigh.