Day 1

Things haven't been so great lately. It's not because of one event, or two or even three, but lately I've been feeling more of the negative and less of the positive. It seems that, in my life, the happy and good things make me feel happy and good for less time than the bad and sad things make me feel bad and sad. I have two amazing kids and I don't want to ever look back on this time in their lives and feel that I missed because I was constantly rushing through it. Every day we seem to be in a rush, but I'm not sure where we're rushing to. I was speaking to a woman the other night who has no kids of her own but she stated a very simple observation, from an "outsider" perspective - parents generally don't seem to enjoy their children. As I thought about it, I realized that it's both sad and true. I had kids because I love them, and although I do truly love my children, I can honestly say that most of the time, I'm not actively enjoying them. Which really sucks.

I also have to say that in many aspects of my life, I am constantly wanting them to be different. It's really a big giant pity party over here. Which also really sucks.

Recently my friend Jen's mom suggested that instead of holding her daily pity parties, she should started a Gratitude Journal. Each day for 75 days, she is going to write one thing that she is thankful for in the hopes that by Thanksgiving, she'll be out of her funk. Ever since I read her first post, I thought that it made sense. Focus on the positive, write it all down and put it in perspective. So this is what I'm going to do. On the happy days, it will be easy, but I hope that even on the sad days I can find one thing, even though it might be something silly.

I'm starting today and going to go through Thanksgiving, which is 52 days away. If it works, I'll continue. Only time will tell, but today is day 1.

Today I am thankful for the fact that the sun is shining and it's quiet. After a rainy Saturday and a weekend of running around, I'm glad that I have an opportunity today where the sun is shining, kids are in school, husband is at work, dog is quiet, phone is not ringing and I can think. I can concentrate on getting work done or do no work at all. I can do the laundry, empty the dishwasher, think about making dinner tonight. Or I can do none of those things and just revel in the quiet for a little while. I think that's exactly what I'm going to do.