Umm.....what?

Listening to the radio today, there was a commercial for one of the court shows that are on daytime tv. In the commercial, the judge said "Don't you think it's a problem when you have to stab your girlfriend to keep her from choking you?"

Ya think??

World's Worst Mom

Have you ever felt like the world's worst mom? I have. Yesterday. And today. And I'm afraid that I will feel like that tomorrow. Let's start with the excuses.

#1 - My husband is away. Not only is he away, but he's been away since Saturday. Which means that I was on my own most of the weekend. Today is Tuesday. And it's his birthday. It's been a long 4 days.

#2 - THe weather sucked. It poured rain yesterday and today. My dog was pissed off because he couldn't go outside. He's also pissed because my husband isn't home. So last night for about 30 minutes, he just barked. Loudly. When my kids were sleeping. He's a 90 pound dog, he does not bark quietly.

#3 - I had to work. Not at my own business, but at my job. You know, the one that pays me so that my kids can eat? At this job, I had to listen to this woman yell at me on the phone for about 30 minutes. That's 30 minutes in addition to the 40 minutes she yelled at me on Thursday of last week and the 10 minute voice mail message she left me yesterday. And guess what? She only had about 3 things that she wanted to say. Over. And over. And over again.

#4 - I was totally under the gun getting a marketing piece together for an event I'm doing on Tuesday. This one is for my own business, so it's last on the list because I only sort of mind. I'll bet though that it's at the top of my graphic designer's list of why she hated today. Every time we thought we were done, we weren't. But we finally got done and if I say so myself, the piece is awesome. I hope people like it.

So because of all of those reasons above, I think I yelled at my son for the whole 3 hours I was with him yesterday. And today. Why? Let's see....

#1 - Because when his 2 year old sister hit him (hard) he laughed. So she laughed. I said stop and she hit him again. Harder. And then he cried.

#2 - Because when his 2 year old sister pinched his tushy, he laughed. So she laughed. I said stop and she pinched him again. Harder. And then he cried.

#3 - Because he doesn't listen. He's hitting his sister. I tell him to stop. He hits her again. I tell him to stop. So he hits her again. So I yell at him to stop.

#4 - Because every time I said it was time for him to go to bed, he whined. 5 more minutes mom. Okay fine, really because I didn't want to get up either. And then it was another 5 minutes. And another 5 minutes. And finally it was 830 and he really needed to go to bed because he was rolling around on the floor. That means he's tired, in 5 year old body language.

I'm sure there were a million other reasons I yelled at him. Good reasons? Probably not. But I feel like lately I am extremely short on patience. So last night when I put him to bed, the conversation went like this:

Me: I'm sorry if I was a little not so nice to you tonight.
5 year old son: Mommy, you were nice. You just yelled at me alot. But it's okay.

Did you hear that? Yes, that was my heart breaking.

So I spoke to my friend and said I think I'm the world's worst mom. She said that she was - she was sitting on the couch with her baby son and they both fell asleep, and she dropped him. On the floor. He's okay, but did she win?

I hope tomorrow will be better.

To Do Lists

So many mornings, I wake up with a grand plan of all the things I need to do that day and visions of getting everything accomplished. I can visualize my house being neat, everything being put away, a place for all the toys and the papers, laundry done, clothes put away, all errands done. So why is it that at the end of the day, my early morning list, scribbled on a scrap piece of paper (sometimes with a crayon) is usually longer than it was in the morning? Why is it so hard to get everything done?

Today is Friday. Tomorrow my husband leaves for his annual sales conference. 5 days of meetings, meals and golf - in Florida. I will be on my own this weekend, running from baseball games to birthday parties, errands, playdates all while trying to accomplish the things I couldn't get done today.

So here's the list for today, we'll see later how we did.

• Bank
• Pick up dry cleaning
• Upload pictures from Disney weekend in Florida
• Put away laundry
• Clean off nighttable and dresser
• Organize office
• Pay bills
• Park playdate for kids
• Swap winter and summer clothing
• Finish up shopping for husband's birthday
  

Care to bet exactly how much is going to get done?

Cami Chocolate Face

This is what I came home to this afternoon. Are we in trouble or what???

From The Mouths of My Babies....

Oh, to be a kid again. Yesterday I took my son and his friend to their gym class and while we were in the car, overheard the exciting conversation between two 5 year old boys:

Son: I love the Mets
Friend: I love the Yankees
Son: I love the Mets and I love the Yankees a little bit
Friend: I just love the Yankees
Son: I hate the Red Socks. When we see them, my papa always yells BOOOOO really loud.
Friend: 5 year old boy laughter
Son: Shea Stadium was built in 1964 and in 2008 they are knocking it down and they are building another stadium named Citifield.
Friend: Hmmm....that's a good name.
Son: Yeah, it is, isn't it?

So simple, so innocent, yet so grownup.

Is it normal that I am sad that my first baby is big enough to have this conversation with his friend? Is it normal that I am sad that he is going to kindergarten next year? Isn't that something that I should be so happy about, like celebrate this major milestone in his life? When I think about him waiting at the bus stop and getting on that bus the first day of school, I'm just sad.

A Place for Me

After an amazing weekend with so many mommy bloggers, I am inspired. Inspired to write, inspired to feel this amazing passion for what I do, inspired to document so many things in my life. My only hope is that I can be half as amazing as these women I've met.

Welcome to my blog. It's a place where I can vent, joke, talk and just have a place for myself. I'm excited to be able to begin this journey, so thank you :)