BIG Mess

This morning I woke up to a BIG mess. About 500 perler beads all over the den floor with my two children sitting in the middle of them. Aaron was trying to vacuum them up with the Dustbuster. It wasn't a good sight. (If you don't know what perler beads are, click the link just so that you can see how tiny they really are).

I wish I would have taken a picture but I was so in shock that I left them home with my husband and went out to get Starbucks.

Do It Whose-self?

Did you ever wish that you could do some of those around-the-house projects that you put on your spouse's "Honey-Do List"? Sign up for a newsletter from Home Depot's Do It Herself Club and you could definitely pick up some great tips.

An upcoming Do It Herself Workshop will take place on April 15 from 7 to 830pm and will focus on Interior Painting featuring Martha Stewart Living. In this workshop, you will

• Learn how to choose paint and paint colors using the Martha Stewart Living color center
• See the tools and materials you will need for a professional finish
• Prepare and mask walls and trim for paint
• Watch and learn the best methods for painting ceilings, wall, and trim

Click here to sign up for this workshop at a Home Depot location near you now.

*This post was cross-posted at Read Our Lips: the official blog of LIParentSource.com

No BIG Plans

Sometimes I wonder why I love Friday. When I used to work at a traditional office job, Friday signaled the end of the long workweek, a day where I left the office at 5pm or before, two full days home with my family, potentially a night out with friends and two days that neither my husband not I needed to go to or think about work.

None of those things hold true anymore. Since I work for myself, my weekends are never truly 100% work-free. There's always the potential for the need to have a phone call, answer an e-mail, write a blog post or something equally as interesting, or attend an event which means that my Saturday and Sunday aren't all that different from my Monday through Friday. The main difference is that there's no school and no work, so kids and husband are all home.

On the weekends, we try to catch up on laundry, run errands and go food shopping. Last weekend we planted around the house and tried to make our sorry excuse for landscaping look like less of a sorry excuse for landscaping. As the weather gets nicer, our weekends are starting to include the park, playground, riding bikes and bar-b-ques for dinner. I try not to make too many plans because I like our weekends to be our weekends. I don't want to be responsible for holding ourselves to being at specific places at specific times or make enough plans to account for every waking moment of our two days of freedom. In the interest of saving money, we're not really going out on Saturday nights but doing more family things - making dinner together, watching movies, having ice cream.

So, what does this weekend hold? No BIG plans. Saturday, we'll go to Aaron's basketball game, run some errands and go to a late afternoon birthday party. Sunday, I'll spend the morning talking to 15 pregnant moms about where they can find information that they need and then Aaron has another birthday party at Adventureland (local amusement park, so he is totally psyched) and that's it.

No BIG plans.

And that's how I like it.

BIG Headache

I've had a major headache for three days. THREE DAYS. It hasn't even begun to go away.

In the spirit of NaBlogPoMo, this is my post.

I wish to the headache G-ds that they will take my headache and send it somewhere, never to be heard from again.

Thanks.

BIG Sadness

Yesterday was the last day of vacation and Camryn had a playdate with her friend. It was a beautiful day and so we took our playdate outside to the park. When we got there, the other mom said, "Did you hear that Coach Al died?"

What??

Coach Al is the baseball coach at Camryn's school and last year, Aaron took lessons with him. A big man and avid baseball fan, he would always tell Aaron about Hank Aaron, if only for the reason that they shared a name. He'd walk around the school in his baseball cap, talking to all the kids and just being a super friendly man.

Dropping off Camryn at school today and seeing the sad faces of the other baseball coaches and everyone that worked in the school was heartbreaking.

Apparently over the break, he sat down to take a nap, had a massive heart attack in his sleep and passed away, leaving three children, many grandchildren and two more on the way. He was 62 years old.

Even though I really barely knew him, I do know that he'll be missed. RIP, Coach Al.

BIG Problem

At 730am, I woke up to screaming. Not your average kids-yelling-at-each-other screaming, but real, honest shrieking. Thinking that either one of the kids had lodged themselves into someplace that they shouldn't or someone's arm was falling off, I raced downstairs only to find that the television wouldn't turn on. Yup, no television in this house brings on mass hysteria. For a 7 year old and a 4 year old, this is a sign of a potential disaster and the world coming to an end.

A bunch of years ago, my dad had his eye on this new high tech (at the time) Sony television and after watching the price for months more than a year or two , he finally bit the bullet and made the purchase. Not only did he buy it, but he completely remodeled the room that would house the treasure set, complete with a closet that built the television into the wall. Upon entering the house the first time, the delivery guys promptly dropped the television on the ceramic tile floor, resulting in a giant crack down the side of the casing. Needless to say, the store shortly sent a non-cracked replacement.

After a few years and the emergence of flat screen televisions into our world, my dad bought another set and gave us the older Sony. It was perfect and it fit wonderfully into a corner of our den. At 40 inches, it was a huge improvement over the 27 inch non-HD set that we previously had. The only stipulation was that we needed to hire four BIG guys to relocate the television from my parents' house to ours. Reason being that this television weighs over 300 pounds. This is no exaggeration, it really weighs that much.

With all of the hysteria this morning over the television that wouldn't turn on, my first thought was not of the money we were going to need to spend to replace it, but more like "how in the world we were going to get this 300 pound television our of our house?"! From my asking friends to my updated Facebook status (Stupid TV broke. Anyone know a repair person/company that will come to my house and not charge me more than it would cost to buy a new TV?) to my calls to the repair shop that quoted me a minimum repair fee of $500, I have heard that if we buy a new television that is delivered, the delivery guys will cart away the old set.

Fingers are totally crossed on this one, because this could really be a BIG problem.

BIG Win (and why Twitter, Hampton Inns & my friend Claudine totally rock)

I feel the need preface this post with one statement: I never win anything. Really. Never, ever, ever anything. One of my favorite websites has recently done a number of $300 Apple store gift card giveaways and I have entered every time. Nothing. Twitter parties where pretty much everyone wins something? Nada. Raffles? Nope. Radio contests? Zilch. It's just a fact, I really never win anything.

Today, I was working catching up on Twitter and saw this post from a real life friend of mine expressing her displeasure about her recent stay at a Hampton Inn during a family trip.

Hey @HamptonFYI On road to NC we stayed @ Hampton Inn. 2 Dbl beds & no rollaway allowed in room #fail! Courtyard Marriott for return. #WIN

Being the busybody that I am, I started to follow @HamptonFYI, mostly because I wanted to see if they responded to her online complaint. Note: lately I am really in awe of the fact that so many large corporations monitor social media applications like Twitter and Facebook for complaints and truly do their best to rectify the issues and appease their complainers.

About an hour later, I received the following private message from @HamptonFYI:

Hi there! Can you DM us your contact info? You're our 2,000th follower!

Because of the high rate of identity theft and other frauds that run rampant through the internet (I'm sure you've received the e-mails from a prince in Nigeria who wants to give you $25 million dollars for doing pretty much nothing), I was pretty skeptical of this, so I replied with only my e-mail address.

Pretty soon after that, I received this e-mail from Christy from Cohn & Wolfe Digital, the PR firm for Hampton Inn.

Congratulations! To thank you for following Hampton, we’d like to offer you a free night’s stay at a Hampton property of your choosing. All we’ll need is your mailing address to send you the certificate! If we have your permission, we’d like to include your Twitter handle in a tweet announcing you as our 2,000th follower and a recipient of a free night. Thanks again for following Hampton – We love having you here!

Hilarious!! I totally won something! And it was something really great and fun! BIG win for me!

And a BIG win for my friend Claudine. Hampton Inn replied to her tweet and let her know that they have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, meaning that if you don't enjoy your stay, you don't pay. She called and they refunded her money for the lousy night that she had when she stayed there.

So really, who rocks now? Me, Claudine and most definitely Hampton Inn and their PR rep, Christy!

BIG Dog

Theo wasn't supposed to be all that big. According to our breeder, he should grow to be "60 pounds and medium sized".

Here he is at a year and a half old (not quite sure what happened to all of his puppy pictures).


Here he is now, at almost 8 years old. He's still big. Sometimes we call him Clifford, even though he's not red. And he's sure as heck not happy with the tiara on his head, courtesy of Camryn.

BIG Trees, Little Girl

This picture speaks for itself, what a beautiful day outside.

BIG Boy

At 7 years old, Aaron is not only my BIG boy, but my BIG toothless boy!! He has so far lost 6 teeth, two of which came out in the past week. He also left a note for the tooth fairy asking how many teeth he needs to lose to get her to bring him an iPod Touch. I think he thinks his toothfairy is Steve Jobs.

BIG Girl

The theme for April for NaBloPoMo is BIG. This might get tough, but here we go....

4 years ago you were born, a little tiny baby girl (who we totally thought was a boy!). We loved you from the moment we saw you.



You started to amaze us from the very first day. And all of a sudden, you were one year old! You had a big cake and were a birthday princess.







You grew, learned to walk and learned to talk, and another year went by, and then you were two! No longer a baby, but a toddler. And becoming your own person. And potentially a rock star.





This is the year you went to camp and school. And cried. Every. Single. Day. For what seemed to be a super long time. But you eventually learned to love school and made a ton of friends. You loved it all so much we had to put you in school an extra day each week halfway through the year! And then you turned three (and still a princess)...





Now you're a big girl. You have your own mind, know what you like and make a lot of your own decisions. You pick out your clothes, pick your TV shows, choose what you want to eat. You're four years old now, what a big girl!

Today is...

....a day that I did not want to get out of bed today.

....a day where pretty much nothing is getting done. I'm ignoring the vaccuum, laundry and all of the things that aren't where they are supposed to be. Isn't Sunday supposed to be a day of rest?

....cold with a ton of snow on the ground. I am so wishing for spring to come. Really soon.

....a birthday party day. In the past week, my two kids have been invited to a total of 9 birthday parties over the next 45 days. From a gift standpoint alone, that is insane.

....a day that I wish I could just skip. Even though tomorrow is Monday.

Can time stand still?

Vacation is over. After all the anxiety about staying in my grandma's house without her, our stay came and went. It was hard being there without her. I spent a week feeling like something was missing. I've been wanting to write about it but wanted to wait until I could wrap my head around everything I was feeling. But I realized that isn't going to happen. All of the feelings, all of the emotions - they were so big. So present. So full. With a giant gaping hole smack in the middle.

When we arrived, driving into the community, everything looked the same. The people. The scenery. It was almost as if time had stood still since my last visit 8 years ago, January 2001. Walking into my grandma's apartment, I had remind myself to breathe.

In and out.

Repeat.

Instinctively, I looked at the corner of the couch. Her spot. And for a split second, I think that I really truly expected her to be sitting there awaiting our arrival. As if over the past eight years, she'd spent her days sitting and watching her programs just as she always had as we all lived our lives back in New York. When I looked at her spot and snapped back to reality realizing that she wasn't there, I felt such an unbearable pain shoot through my heart, it was as if I lost her all over again. And although it did lessen some over the course of the week, I felt that pain every single time I walked in that door and looked at that spot on the couch.

The first day we were there, everything I looked at made me cry. Things I haven't thought about in eight years. Things that if you asked me, I never would have remembered.

Like the toothbrush holder in the small bathroom. Or the dishes in the rack on the counter. Or the clock hanging on the wall in the kitchen. Or the sound of the doorbell.

All of my grandma's little things were still there. The same photos stuck in the side of the mirror. The same jar holding pocket change on the dresser. The same pillows on the rocking chair in the bedroom. At that point on that very first day, I had absolutely no idea how I was going to last 6 nights in this apartment without drowning in my own tears.

The only laugh during that first afternoon was when my daughter asked, "Mommy, why are there pictures of me in this hotel?" I couldn't explain to her that this wasn't a hotel. I couldn't explain the special-ness of this place. I felt almost like I shouldn't have to explain it to them. I wanted my kids to feel it in their hearts and in their souls. I wanted them to feel the same special-ness and happiness that I always felt in this place. I wanted them to feel the love. I wanted them to feel like she was there. Most of all, I wanted to feel like she was there. And on that first day, I cried for how empty the place was. Because even though some of her things were still there, she wasn't walking in the door or sitting in her rocking chair. I cried because I half thought I would feel happy, feel like she was there. And I didn't feel either.

Over the course of the week, things changed. My tears were slowly replaced with laughter. And stories. And showing my kids all of the things I used to do. All of the places I used to go. Silly things like how I would throw the garbage in the dumpster every night after dinner. Or walk down the street and visit my aunt. Or cut through the walkway at the building across the street to get to the pool. And all of these things made me happy. And smile. And remember. And feel like she was there.

There were times I could hear her, see her, feel her. I could hear her feet padding into the kitchen early in the morning. I could see her opening the freezer and taking her nightly ice cream snack. I could hear her yelling to my grandpa, "Murray, what do you think, someone's going to break in and steal you?" after she came home to find the front door locked. And I started to enjoy being in her house, around her things.

It was a week of significant reflection and so many memories. I thought about how much she would have loved my kids if she had the chance to meet them and how much she would have laughed with them. I thought about how although she would have loved them with her whole heart, she would have felt, and said, that being a great-grandma made her old. I remembered so many good things and felt so much closer to her, like I never wanted to leave this place that had changed from making me feel grief to making me feel somewhat comforted. But although I miss her so much, now more than ever, and would do anything to have her back even for a second, I feel like she did know that we were there, and she was there with us.

But most of all, I remembered how lucky I was to have my grandma until I was 27 years old. There aren't too many people who could say that.

A little rememberance is nice...

Happy February vacation! We're getting ready to go off to Florida, where hopefully the temperature will warm up enough that it will feel like summer. I'm looking forward to so many aspects of this trip - getting away, being someplace where it doesn't snow, spending time together as a family, seeing old friends. What's nagging me a little bit about this trip is that there's going to be something missing. Or rather, someone. My grandma.

As a kid, every year I would spend my spring vacation with my grandparents in Florida. I'd get on the plane here in NY and they'd meet me at the gate in Florida, and I'd spend one or two weeks there, swimming and enjoying the warm weather. When my grandpa passed away in 1992, I went down after to spend time with my grandma. The last time I was down there was for her 90th birthday, 8 years ago. She was just getting better from being sick and in a rehab center getting ready to come home. Somewhere over the 6 weeks following her birthday, something happened. She passed away on March 2, 2002.

I haven't been back to Florida since that trip, but since we haven't seen my grandma-in-law in awhile, we decided to visit. Since my grandma passed away, we kept her apartment, mostly because it didn't pay to sell it. So that's where we're going to stay, instead of invading my grandma-in-law's one bedroom apartment with our party of four. And that's where the anxiety is. How can I stay in that apartment, her home, without her?

Although I'm looking forward to this trip, it's going to be weird. Only time will tell, and as we get closer to leaving, the anxiety grows. But so does the excitement, because a part of me feels like maybe I'll feel a sense of peace when we're there, like she's still there in some capacity.

In the meantime, this photo of my daughter totally reminds me of my grandma, mostly because of the purse.

What I Learned This Week

I've talked a lot on this blog about how I left my whole career (the career I went to school for and studied for hours to pass a test to get certified, the career that I worked and worked and commuted and commuted for) to run my own business and have the flexibility of working for myself and being around more for my kids.

What I haven't talked alot on this blog about is how although I love running the website, connecting families, giving parents information and helping small businesses, the one thing I hate is sales. Which really totally sucks because guess what the only way this business makes any money is? Yup, you got it. Advertising sales.

What do I hate about sales? Let me count the ways....

First, I hate calling a business owner and not being able to get through to the right person because the 15 year old kid answering the phone was instructed to not put through any sales calls.

Second, I hate the fact that at that moment, the 15 year old kid answering the phone basically has the power. And not only does he have the power, but he could care less that I am calling to help the business owner get information about his business to people who would actually want to be his customers. Because then that would mean that that kid would have to do things other than answer the phone.

Third, I hate to think that when people see me coming they'll want to turn the other way because they don't want to be "sold".

Fourth, I hate the thought of calling someone and having them be mean or nasty or hang up on me. Especially when more often than not, it's a 15 year old kid.

Do I need to go on? Thanks, I didn't really want to. I'm sure you get the point.

So it pretty much sucks when you hate the one thing that can earn you any money. Yes, it does.

But here's what I learned this week. It's the surprise of all surprises. What is it? It's the fact that I'm good at sales. Maybe I'm not great at the initial cold call, but once I get in front of a person, I am good at sales.

How do I know? Because last week, not only did I get a huge brand new client who is going to run ads in twelve newsletters, but I also got four other businesses who paid to have their businesses listed in our site's directory. And I did it all myself, scheduled meetings, sat with them, walked them through the information and watched them fall in love with this website. One that I created. I've learned that I am good at this very thing that I hate. And now I think I'm going to have to get over all the hate and turn it into love.

Here's a PS for my friends in Philly - I also learned that the Yankees are the Champions. For the 27th time in a row! Hip Hip Jorge!!

For more of What I Learned This Week, head on over to Jo-Lynne's blog at Musings of a Housewife.

The Scents that Linger

Twitter Moms and Downy recently posed the question "If you could define yourself with a scent, what scent would represent you and why?" As a mom, all sorts of answers come to mind, although maybe none of them are appropriate. Or anything I would choose to have as a defining scent. But I did start thinking about the question and came up with an answer. Sort of.

To answer the question, I started thinking about my favorite scent, and although I can't say what it specifically is, I can remember it well, describe it perfectly and smell it in my mind. As a little girl, I would take a trip every year to visit my grandparents in Florida. I would spend a week there swimming, getting sunburned and doing grandparent-ish things. Each night, I would open the sleeper sofa, take the sheets and blankets out of the cabinet and go to sleep. In the cabinet where they kept the blankets and sheets, they also kept am unwrapped bar of soap, I guess as a deodorizer. It wasn't a regular bar of Ivory soap, but instead a mixture of sweet and spice. Like a man's cologne. And cinnamon. And cloves. And medicine, but a good smelling kind.

When I hear the question "If you could define yourself with a scent, what scent would represent you and why?" I feel that the answer is really less about the actual scent and more about the feelings of why, more about the memories that the scent brings to the forefront of my mind. I could answer that I love peppermint because it smells clean or lavender because it smells like spring or vanilla because it smells like cupcakes. Instead, I choose this random soap from long ago that lived in my grandparents cabinet. Because even though my grandparents are both gone, I can still smell the bar of soap in my mind and remember who they were, what they were like and most of all, where I came from. I remember the time I spent with them and how I was lucky to have them for as long as I did. And most of all, sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night and catch a whiff of this familiar smell, I know that no matter how much time passes, they are both still here and always with me.

This was posted in response to a contest launched by TwitterMoms and Downy, asking bloggers to write about the scent that defines them. If you want to enter yourself, learn more about the contest here.

Slice of American Pie....

I've always been a huge music fan. I listen to everything from show and movie soundtracks to Billy Joel to Michael Jackson to The Dixie Chicks. I have a bunch of choice music on my iPod and my 6 year old son wanted to be Dave Matthews for Halloween this year. 'Nuf said. When One2One Network reached out and offered me a chance to review the new Five for Fighting album, Slice, I figured that there really was no reason not to even though I wasn't a fan. And I realized that the only reason I considered myself "not a fan" was because I didn't realize that I had even heard them before.

When I first listened to Slice, my immediate thought was "why haven't I ever listened to this group before?" The album was awesome. Low-key and mellow with lyrics that were both inspiring and funny and stayed with you (and not in an awful Wiggles sort of way). Every time I think I have chosen the song on the album that's my favorite, the next song plays and I rethink my decision.

Here's some information about Five for Fighting--

Five For Fighting’s breakthrough came in 2001 with the Grammy Nominated song “Superman”, from the Platinum certified “America Town”. The song was climbing the charts upon release, and when 9/11 happened, it became a song of healing for the nation. FFF performed the song at the post 9/11 fundraiser The Concert for New York which paid tribute to all the firefighters, police officers & paramedics affected by the events of 9/11.

Last month, I also had a chance to see John Ondrasik perform an acoustic concert here on Long Island. The theater was small and intimate and the whole show was awesome. Even more awesome was that I got to meet him after the show and wow, what a nice guy, and more importantly, so real. He chatted about his kids and his family like any other dad I've ever met. He just happened to be one that sings fantastic music instead of sitting behind a desk all day. See that picture? Ya, that's me and John.


Definitely check out Slice. And soon. Click the video below to hear their newest release, Chances.
You can also follow John Ondrasik on Twitter and become a fan of Five for Fighting on Facebook.




Huge thanks to the One2One Network for providing me with the fantastic album to review as well as tickets to the show.

What I Learned This Week

Here we go again...

What did I learn this week? A few things. First and foremost though that I just don't think I'm meant to be a really good blogger. I just don't have the discipline. I started this blog way back after the First Disney Mommy Blogger Mixer when I met so many different and amazing Bloggers and was inspired to start writing like so many of them did. I wrote some good posts like this one and this one and this one, but they were few and far between. Every time I made a commitment to start writing here again, life just got in the way. Work. Kids. Running a business. Running a house. A few weeks ago, I was inspired yet again by my friend Jen to keep a gratitude journal because it seemed as if things just weren't always going my way and I needed to think more on the half full side than on the half empty side. And after a few days, my commitment totally fell off. Understand, it's not that I'm not committed. I am definitely committed. I think I'm just committed to too many things. Like everyone else but I think that I have my limits.

So I did learn this week that I just have to write when I can and keep this as a record for myself of what's going on over here.

Oh, and I will post again next week when I learn that the Yankees are 27 time champions.

For more of What I Learned This Week, head on over to Jo-Lynne's blog at Musings of a Housewife. She is most definitely one of those superwomen that I referred to in the above post :)

Day 7

This is what a nasty sinus infection/cold/hacking cough will do to you. Make you take days and days off from posting to your blog because you are laying in bed and think you are dying. Oky, well, maybe not dying, but in pretty bad shape. Today is the first day in 5 days that I got out of bed and came over to the computer. During those 5 days I truly couldn't think of one thing to be thankful for, and that is no lie.

So today, I am thankful for the full Z-Pack that I had in my cabinet. It has truly saved me from my misery. While looking for Sudafed (which I didn't have), I found a Z-Pack which I must have filled a prescription for a long while ago and never taken. So now, good riddance to the sinus infection, my nose is no longer stuffy or runny and the hacking cough is dissipating. Slowly.

I will be better this week. And more thankful.

Days 4, 5 & 6

I guess I skipped this little project because it was the weekend. So this post will include 3 things I am thankful for.

#1 - The Weekends My how times have changed. As a kid, I loved the weekends because there was no school. After college, I loved the weekends because I was off from work. After I had kids, I loved the weekend because I was home with the kid(s) and not rushing all over the place to work. But now that I'm home with the kids every day, working, taking care of the house, etc. I love the weekends because my husband is home which means at some points, he can take over.

#2 - My Parents I love the town I grew up in. I love it so much that when we were looking to buy our house, I wanted to buy a house in that town. As a matter of fact, most of the people I graduated high school with live in that town. My husband didn't want to live in that town so we compromised. We live in the town next door. Literally next door. Like we could spit on the town we grew up in, that's how close it is. One of the best things about that town is that my parents still live there. Yes, 5 minutes 7 minutes away. Aside from seeing them alot, which of course is great, my kids have their grandparents so close that they can see them almost every day. I never had that - one set of my grandparents lived in Florida and the other grandmother, well, let's just say that she was less than interested. My parents LOVE being with my kids and are fantastic babysitters. This weekend, while we were at a wedding more than two hours away, my parents had the kids. And they went to Target and bought fall clothes and sneakers. And they went to the arts & crafts store and made projects when they came home. And they went to the supermarket and got snacks. And they went out for pizza for dinner. And ice cream for dessert. And slept over. And then they didn't want to come home. Can you blame them?

#3 - Our Friends I love the fact that so many of my/our friends have been our friends for years. And when I say years, I mean like 30 years. I can name probably a dozen people we still talk to and hang out with that I have known since I'm 5 years old. Last night we went to a wedding of a friend we've known since high school. We sat at a table with a 5 other couples and out of the two that we knew, I have known both guys since kindergarten. At another table sat another 4 - 5 guys we know since middle school or high school. It's great to have friends who know you forever. Or to just be able to reconnect with people once in awhile in person, as opposed to on Facebook.

So that was it, I had three things to be thankful for in this post because I slacked this weekend. But while I was slacking, I was absolutely having fun. And starting to come out of this funk....