Today is...

....a day that I did not want to get out of bed today.

....a day where pretty much nothing is getting done. I'm ignoring the vaccuum, laundry and all of the things that aren't where they are supposed to be. Isn't Sunday supposed to be a day of rest?

....cold with a ton of snow on the ground. I am so wishing for spring to come. Really soon.

....a birthday party day. In the past week, my two kids have been invited to a total of 9 birthday parties over the next 45 days. From a gift standpoint alone, that is insane.

....a day that I wish I could just skip. Even though tomorrow is Monday.

Can time stand still?

Vacation is over. After all the anxiety about staying in my grandma's house without her, our stay came and went. It was hard being there without her. I spent a week feeling like something was missing. I've been wanting to write about it but wanted to wait until I could wrap my head around everything I was feeling. But I realized that isn't going to happen. All of the feelings, all of the emotions - they were so big. So present. So full. With a giant gaping hole smack in the middle.

When we arrived, driving into the community, everything looked the same. The people. The scenery. It was almost as if time had stood still since my last visit 8 years ago, January 2001. Walking into my grandma's apartment, I had remind myself to breathe.

In and out.

Repeat.

Instinctively, I looked at the corner of the couch. Her spot. And for a split second, I think that I really truly expected her to be sitting there awaiting our arrival. As if over the past eight years, she'd spent her days sitting and watching her programs just as she always had as we all lived our lives back in New York. When I looked at her spot and snapped back to reality realizing that she wasn't there, I felt such an unbearable pain shoot through my heart, it was as if I lost her all over again. And although it did lessen some over the course of the week, I felt that pain every single time I walked in that door and looked at that spot on the couch.

The first day we were there, everything I looked at made me cry. Things I haven't thought about in eight years. Things that if you asked me, I never would have remembered.

Like the toothbrush holder in the small bathroom. Or the dishes in the rack on the counter. Or the clock hanging on the wall in the kitchen. Or the sound of the doorbell.

All of my grandma's little things were still there. The same photos stuck in the side of the mirror. The same jar holding pocket change on the dresser. The same pillows on the rocking chair in the bedroom. At that point on that very first day, I had absolutely no idea how I was going to last 6 nights in this apartment without drowning in my own tears.

The only laugh during that first afternoon was when my daughter asked, "Mommy, why are there pictures of me in this hotel?" I couldn't explain to her that this wasn't a hotel. I couldn't explain the special-ness of this place. I felt almost like I shouldn't have to explain it to them. I wanted my kids to feel it in their hearts and in their souls. I wanted them to feel the same special-ness and happiness that I always felt in this place. I wanted them to feel the love. I wanted them to feel like she was there. Most of all, I wanted to feel like she was there. And on that first day, I cried for how empty the place was. Because even though some of her things were still there, she wasn't walking in the door or sitting in her rocking chair. I cried because I half thought I would feel happy, feel like she was there. And I didn't feel either.

Over the course of the week, things changed. My tears were slowly replaced with laughter. And stories. And showing my kids all of the things I used to do. All of the places I used to go. Silly things like how I would throw the garbage in the dumpster every night after dinner. Or walk down the street and visit my aunt. Or cut through the walkway at the building across the street to get to the pool. And all of these things made me happy. And smile. And remember. And feel like she was there.

There were times I could hear her, see her, feel her. I could hear her feet padding into the kitchen early in the morning. I could see her opening the freezer and taking her nightly ice cream snack. I could hear her yelling to my grandpa, "Murray, what do you think, someone's going to break in and steal you?" after she came home to find the front door locked. And I started to enjoy being in her house, around her things.

It was a week of significant reflection and so many memories. I thought about how much she would have loved my kids if she had the chance to meet them and how much she would have laughed with them. I thought about how although she would have loved them with her whole heart, she would have felt, and said, that being a great-grandma made her old. I remembered so many good things and felt so much closer to her, like I never wanted to leave this place that had changed from making me feel grief to making me feel somewhat comforted. But although I miss her so much, now more than ever, and would do anything to have her back even for a second, I feel like she did know that we were there, and she was there with us.

But most of all, I remembered how lucky I was to have my grandma until I was 27 years old. There aren't too many people who could say that.

A little rememberance is nice...

Happy February vacation! We're getting ready to go off to Florida, where hopefully the temperature will warm up enough that it will feel like summer. I'm looking forward to so many aspects of this trip - getting away, being someplace where it doesn't snow, spending time together as a family, seeing old friends. What's nagging me a little bit about this trip is that there's going to be something missing. Or rather, someone. My grandma.

As a kid, every year I would spend my spring vacation with my grandparents in Florida. I'd get on the plane here in NY and they'd meet me at the gate in Florida, and I'd spend one or two weeks there, swimming and enjoying the warm weather. When my grandpa passed away in 1992, I went down after to spend time with my grandma. The last time I was down there was for her 90th birthday, 8 years ago. She was just getting better from being sick and in a rehab center getting ready to come home. Somewhere over the 6 weeks following her birthday, something happened. She passed away on March 2, 2002.

I haven't been back to Florida since that trip, but since we haven't seen my grandma-in-law in awhile, we decided to visit. Since my grandma passed away, we kept her apartment, mostly because it didn't pay to sell it. So that's where we're going to stay, instead of invading my grandma-in-law's one bedroom apartment with our party of four. And that's where the anxiety is. How can I stay in that apartment, her home, without her?

Although I'm looking forward to this trip, it's going to be weird. Only time will tell, and as we get closer to leaving, the anxiety grows. But so does the excitement, because a part of me feels like maybe I'll feel a sense of peace when we're there, like she's still there in some capacity.

In the meantime, this photo of my daughter totally reminds me of my grandma, mostly because of the purse.

The Scents that Linger

Twitter Moms and Downy recently posed the question "If you could define yourself with a scent, what scent would represent you and why?" As a mom, all sorts of answers come to mind, although maybe none of them are appropriate. Or anything I would choose to have as a defining scent. But I did start thinking about the question and came up with an answer. Sort of.

To answer the question, I started thinking about my favorite scent, and although I can't say what it specifically is, I can remember it well, describe it perfectly and smell it in my mind. As a little girl, I would take a trip every year to visit my grandparents in Florida. I would spend a week there swimming, getting sunburned and doing grandparent-ish things. Each night, I would open the sleeper sofa, take the sheets and blankets out of the cabinet and go to sleep. In the cabinet where they kept the blankets and sheets, they also kept am unwrapped bar of soap, I guess as a deodorizer. It wasn't a regular bar of Ivory soap, but instead a mixture of sweet and spice. Like a man's cologne. And cinnamon. And cloves. And medicine, but a good smelling kind.

When I hear the question "If you could define yourself with a scent, what scent would represent you and why?" I feel that the answer is really less about the actual scent and more about the feelings of why, more about the memories that the scent brings to the forefront of my mind. I could answer that I love peppermint because it smells clean or lavender because it smells like spring or vanilla because it smells like cupcakes. Instead, I choose this random soap from long ago that lived in my grandparents cabinet. Because even though my grandparents are both gone, I can still smell the bar of soap in my mind and remember who they were, what they were like and most of all, where I came from. I remember the time I spent with them and how I was lucky to have them for as long as I did. And most of all, sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night and catch a whiff of this familiar smell, I know that no matter how much time passes, they are both still here and always with me.

This was posted in response to a contest launched by TwitterMoms and Downy, asking bloggers to write about the scent that defines them. If you want to enter yourself, learn more about the contest here.

Dear Time...

I had one question when I got up this morning and that was, WHERE THE HELL DID THE WHOLE SUMMER GO??

Seriously, how could it have flown right by me without my noticing?

It was apparently moving at the speed of light because I didn't even feel the breeze as it rushed by.

Maybe it was because it rained every day except for 3 during the entire month of June.

Or because our first day that the temperatures went over 90 degrees was in August.

But sigh, camp is almost over for the kids - only one more week.

Which means that I only have one more week of freedom between the hours of 9am and 430pm. And probably only one more week of finding Camryn asleep in her bed at 6pm and having her sleep until the next morning until 730 or 8am.

Soon they'll be back in school. And we'll be waiting for the school bus again every morning.

I'll be the mom of a first grader. A first grader who will be getting some serious homework this year.

And then the weather will get cold. We'll probably skip fall again and then all of a sudden we'll be knee deep in snow.

Why is it that as soon as I had kids, time just started to fly?

I feel so super young, but numbers don't lie. And my number isn't super low anymore.

So here's my plea.

Dear Time,
Please slow down. Just a little bit. Let me appreciate and enjoy my kids while they're young because if you keep going as fast as you are, I'm going to turn around soon and they will be gone. So if you could just slow down a little bit, I'd really appreciate it. Let me feel the breeze as you pass by. Pretty, pretty please? Thanks.

Love,
Amy

Customer Service Strikes Again...

At the end of the school year, I posted here about an awful experience I had in a local retail store and wondered what happened to customer service. Today I learned that lousy customer service does not discriminate against large corporations.

In 2005, I was an employee of Cablevision, our major cable company here on Long Island. When I decided to leave the company, our family said au reviour to our employee perks of free cable, internet and telephone. We decided to change the account over to my husband's name, making him a new subscriber and therefore eligible for introductory rates. For some reason still unknown to us, Cablevision insisted on sending a tech out to our house to work on the account's name change. Even the tech had no idea why he was here and due to errors in the main office, he wound up spending the day and part of the evening with us - he was here for more than 4 hours! Soon after this very long afternoon, we decided to scrap Cablevision and move to the other side. We became customers of Verizon Fios. And the story begins....(right, the above had nothing to do with the awful customer service I'm ranting about today, it was just background!)

ClearlyI think our first mistake was signing up with one of the sales people who walk around neighborhoods knocking on doors selling the service. At sign up we were promised a $100 American Express gift card and a $150 Target gift card to be received within 60 days of installation. A few weeks later, we had the installation, which went relatively well.

After about 6 months and we hadn't received either of the promised gift cards, I started to call Verizon. Do you have any idea what it's like to try and get someone on the phone there? It's more than tough. I finally got a woman named Mrs. Brown on the phone who asked me to fax over the sales slip. I did. About 25 times over the next 6 months and for some reason, they would never receive it. Which generated another call to Mrs. Brown, another request to fax over the paperwork, another faxing of 5 fronts and backs of papers, and another result of nothing. At some point, Mrs. Brown transferred departments or left the company stopped taking my calls. The whole calling and faxing and refaxing and calling back had turned into almost a part time job for me, one where I had well earned the $250 in gift cards about 10 times over. To be honest, the whole cycle was so infuriating to deal with on a daily basis that I just wound up dropping it and forgetting the whole thing. 1 point for Verizon!

About six months ago, a salesperson from Cablevision came knocking at our door. We talked, I found out the "deal" he was offering and immediately called Verizon to let them know, hoping that they would save us from their competition and match the price. The woman on the phone expressed her "I'm sorry's" and told me how important we were as customers to Verizon, especially given the state of the economy. By the end of the conversation, this very nice woman wound up giving us enough discounts to beat the competitor's offered price by about $10/month. Perfect. 1 point for us!

Come last week, the honeymoon was over. I received that bill and read something that I was never told - the discounts we were given were to last for 6 months. 6 months that clearly were up, as our bill was now well over what we've been paying. In my mind I started figuring out how much time this was going to take, but thought it wouldn't be a big deal, another call to Verizon, another discussion about how they don't want to lose customers as clearly the economy is not much different than it was 6 months ago, they would reinstate the discount and we'd all be happy. Right?

Wrong. Really, really, super wrong. The rep I spoke to on the phone did not hesitate to tell me that there are no longer any promotions being offered that we were eligible for. I explained to her the situation that occurred 6 months ago and how at that time there were no promotions either but that Verizon doesn't like to lose customers so they were able to compromise and keep us on. The conversation was absolutely futile and in the end, I told her that although I am sure she is doing her job, I can't imagine that Verizon would want to lose a customer for $30/month and I'd like to talk to someone else that would be available.

After another 15 minutes some fantastic hold music, a supervisor gets on the phone. I quickly go through the same conversation with her and she tells me the same thing. "There are no promotions that you are eligible for." I'm still not quite sure what that means but I did voice the same reasoning I had used on the other rep, that I can't imagine how 6 months ago we were so important to Verizon and now they were willing to lose us for $30/month - customers who use every service they offer, phone, television, internet, cell phone service. So what did she say next?

Ready?

She said, "If you'd like, I can cancel your service for you right now, effective immediately so that you could switch to Cablevision."

Huh? I have to say that I didn't even know what to say. I managed to get out that I would have my husband call Verizon at a later date, thanks for your help.

As I hung up the phone, I was puzzled. Has Verizon recovered so well in this crazy economy that they train their customer service reps to offer to cancel service for their customers? Very interesting tactic, I hope it works well for them.

For us, we're looking at our different options but I will say that Verizon has been extremely disappointing. On the bright side, now that my level of loyalty to Verizon's has significantly decreased, iPhone here I come!

Parental Decisions - Good or Bad?

Admittedly, I am a big fan of TV courtroom dramas. I used to love The Practice, LA Law and Raising the Bar is one of my current favorite shows - you get it. One of the reasons why I think I enjoy these types of shows is because they seem real. So many of these cases could happen in real life, making the shows feel not as contrived as other shows on TV. I recently watched an episode of Law & Order: SVU and right now, I'm not sure how I feel about what I saw.

As the episode started out, all signs were pointing to the SVU team being faced with a case that mimicked the Casey Anthony case currently going on down in Florida, where a young mother is accused of murdering her toddler daughter. The rest of the eipsode is outlined by the following bullet points, to avoid confusion.

• A young mother saw a rash on her infant daughter, who was cranky and irritable. The mother then put the baby to sleep for the night.
• In the morning, the mother found the baby dead.
• The mother was accused of killing the baby until the autopsy results showed that the baby died of encephalitis (swelling of the brain) caused by a case of the measels.
• The detectives went to work to track down the person who passed on the measels to the baby girl, and found that it was a young boy who had come into contact with the baby at a local park.
• In speaking to the mother of the young boy, the detectives found that the young boy had the measels and got well.
• They also found that the young boy was not vaccinated against the measels, or anything, because his mother feared the long-term effects that vaccinations could cause her son. She felt that it was healthier for her son to grow up without receiving any vaccines. The little girl who died was not vaccinated because she was not old enough to have received the vaccine to fight the measels.
  
• The police then decided to arrest the mother of the little boy for negligent homicde, stating that her holding vaccines back from her son caused the death of this little girl and that she should be held responsible.
  

However, I also know people who choose not to vaccinate their children. I have friends who choose not to vaccinate their children. I have friends who choose not to be open about the fact that they do not vaccinate their children for fear that their family will be ostracized within our community. I have friends who do vaccinate all of their children and have friends who have vaccinated their first child and not their second.

Both of my children are vaccinated. For me, vaccinating my first child was not a conscious decision that I made, because no one ever took the time to educate me that I was entitled to make this choice. As a first time mom, my doctor told me it was time for x and y vaccination and my son got them and that was it. To be honest, I am not sure that I would have chosen any differently had I known. With my daughter, I was a little bit more educated and knew that it was my choice and I did choose to vaccinate her as well.

The media is in a frenzy about vaccinating children, discussing time and time again how vaccinations are the cause of other health issues, a major one being varying degrees of autism. Although the drug industry, doctors and many others refute this claim, many others stand by their opinions.

All of these thoughts bring me back to the show I watched the other night and have me pondering the answers to some pretty important questions for and against each side. Isn't it a basic right that government should not exercise their will over out own bodies? And don't parents have a right to do what they feel is best for their own children, to extend their beliefs to their children? This includes making the decision to have your child vaccinated or not. But on the other side, aren't parents who choose to vaccinate their children entitled to know that their children are safe from these diseases?

This post is so open ended with no real conclusion. The episode did bother me, more because the mother of the little boy was arrested for making, what she felt, the right decision for her family. Anyone care to weigh in on this?

She Said What?

When I was in high school, I worked in retail. First I worked as a cashier in the neighborhood supermarket, then I moved on and worked in a stationery store for a number of years. When I was in college, I worked summers at Old Navy and then as a receptionist in a hair salon. Through it all, I was always taught one thing by the person I worked for - always treat the customer nicely, even if they are the worst customer you've ever had. Smart thing to teach to someone who works for you in retail, someone who is representing you to your customers. It really should be the number one rule in any retail store. Today really had me wondering.

A few months ago, I went into this store with Camryn and my mom. Camryn is 3 years old and wants to touch things. Okay, she wants to touch everything. I tell her no, show her what she can and can't touch, always teach her to treat other people's things with respect and she's generally okay. This time, she was fine and we were there for a long time. The woman who worked there was very nice to us and to Camryn, talked to her, played a little, just generally nice. We bought our stuff, spent a significant amount of money and left.

This morning I realized I need to get gifts for Camryn's teachers and figured I'd go back to that store, but this time, it was just me and Camryn. As soon as we walked in, it was a different experience. Same lady working there, only this time, well, she wasn't all that nice. She was clearly less than thrilled that Camryn was in the store, even though she wasn't misbehaving in any way. I asked her where I could find good teacher gifts and she waved her hand toward a corner and said, "There's stationery over there," and then turned around and walked away to sit behind the cash register. Thanks for the help. I looked around a little bit and Camryn saw a small teddy bear sitting on a teddy bear sized couch next to a display of shoes and sat down to play with it. She was sitting very nicely and playing for about 5 minutes when she got up to tell me something and accidentally left the teddy bear on the floor instead of seating it back on it's chair. Before I could even tell her to put the teddy bear back on the chair, the woman comes out from behind the register in huff, comes over to me and says pretty loudly, "You know, she really can't just leave these things on the floor like that." Wow, really? I said to her, "I was just about to tell her to put them back, sorry," but before I could, she rolled her eyes and picked up the teddy bear, bringing it behind the cash register with her so Camryn couldn't touch it again.

As tempted as I was to just walk out the door, they did have gifts I wanted to buy at pretty decent prices, so I picked up Camryn and held her the rest of the time I did my shopping. All 31 pounds of her. I picked out three gifts for her teachers (you can see them here and here) as well as a pair of shoes for me (greatest flip-flops ever) and brought everything to the counter. I waited about 10 minutes while she helped another woman and then it was our turn. She rang our items up, we paid and she handed me the shopping bag. Unfortunately, my credit card decided that they needed additional authorization on this transaction so she had to call the credit card company to get the number to put the charge through. Transaction done, thank you - I really couldn't wait to get out of the store.

"Oh, wait," the woman says. "I forgot to add this," holding up (of course) the most important teacher gift that we had wanted to buy. She then goes on to say, "You don't really need it, do you?"

What?? Yes, she really did say that. If you think you didn't read that correctly (because I certainly thought I didn't hear it correctly), she said "You don't really need it, do you?"

"Yes, actually I do need to buy it," I told her.

Her reply? "Really? You know we're going to have to go through this whole thing all over again, right?" By whole thing she meant swiping my credit card. I didn't realize it was that hard to do.

Now the ridiculousness of the whole transaction is killing me, because I am about 98% ready do say forget it and just walk out the door. But that would mean taking Camryn to yet another store, picking something out, paying - basically going through this whole day again, just for one thing that I had already picked out! Talk about frustrating - I'm thinking about how I am standing here, holding Camryn and trying to explain to this woman why I need to buy something I had only not bought the first time due to an error that she made!

Biting my tongue, I said, again, "I do need to buy it," and she rolled her eyes and rang it up. When I was done, I took my things and walked out the door.

I know I'm not alone in having a bad experience in a retail store, but this annoyed me on a few levels. First and foremost, this employee was no teenager. Although she behaved like she was about 16 years old, she was a grown woman, probably in her early to mid 60s. Certainly she should know proper manners. Second, the last time I was in this store and spent a significant amount of money, she didn't care that Camryn was playing with a teddy bear on the floor. This time, it seemed like she couldn't be bothered with my lower spending. Right now, one side of my mind says that I should never step foot in this store again, while the other side says that I probably will find myself there again because of the things they sell.

At the end of the day, what did I learn? Something not so new - some people just aren't that nice. Or maybe she was having a bad day. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but this one is tough. As a business owner, I like to think that the people who are out there representing me are treating people the way that I would think they should be treated. But I do know that one person's bad experience with a business can cause that business to lose more than the one customer, a situation I'd never want to be in myself.

I'm Still Here.....

Hi blog! I'm still alive, although my days have been a series of one day melting into the next. It's been awhile so I'll try and catch you up via a bullet pointed list. It was going to be a "Top 10" list but I'm not sure I have 10 things to talk about. And away we go....

• We surprised the kids with a trip to Disney last month. I will have to sit down and write about it in detail but in a nutshell, it was amazingly awesome. The kids had fun, we had fun, Disney World is this seriously magical place where only good things happen and everyone is super nice. We didn't watch tv, see the news or read the newspaper for an entire week. I called it our state of blissfull ignorance. We got home just in time for the swine flu outbreak and truly had no idea about it until we got to the airport and people everywhere were wearing surgical masks. Special thanks to my Mom Panel friend Darcie for helping plan this spectacular week. Oh, and great surprise to be able to hang with Maria Bailey, Leanne and Laura and their mommy bloggers to watch the fireworks, even if my 6 year old cried the whole time.
• After our week in Disney, I think I seriously fell into a depression when we came home. I spent the whole first week not wanting to do ANYTHING, which then depressed me even more.
• We're home almost a month and I'm STILL waiting for this rain to stop here in NY. If I wanted Seattle-like weather, I would have lived in Seattle. It's the end of May and we're still wearing jeans and sweatshirts. Definitely need to clue Mother Nature into the fact that a little rain is okay and necessary but at some point it's gotta stop. Bring on the sunshine!
• I'm glad that Kris Allen won American Idol instead of Adam Lambert. I don't think Adam is commercial enough and if my all-time fave Danny Gokey couldn't win, I'm glad it went to Kris. I didn't vote, although I did try - the lines were busy and I gave up. I did though download Kris's version of Heartless from iTunes - it was awesome.
  
• I've moved from The Real Housewives of NYC to The Real Housewives of NJ. While I love the NYC girls (other than Kelly. And Ramona. And Alex.) the NJ girls are good for a laugh. A really, really, really big laugh. And a bunch of "Oh My God"s. Jersey girls, understand that this show is a huge reason why people think what they think about NJ. Just sayin'.....
• Camryn has turned into a major bitch. That may be wrong to say about a 3 year old but I'm saying it. And saying it loud. She's driving me insane. Everything is "NO!" or "MINE!" or some other loud and obnoxious one word answer. Today she told me "I don't love you, I love only Daddy. But that's okay because Aaron loves you." I mean, when did 3 year olds get logic? If this is a sign of things to come, I'm done for.
  
• Camryn also has decided that she loves to say inappropriate (and embarrassing) things at any given time, making me not want to take her anywhere. Ever. Some examples? In the bank, we walked by an older man (by older, I mean somewhere in the 80+ range) and she sniffed the air loudly and said, "That man stinks, mommy." Fantastic, right? In the next store, she decided to point to a bald man and said, "Isn't that man's hair funny?" And this morning, I had put some cream on her private area because she said she was a little itchy (just finished a round of antibiotics), and when I picked her up at school and whispered to her, "How do you feel?" she said, "I fine Mommy, and my vagina's great!" Note - all of these things that she said are at a volume of about 1000.
• Heidi from The Hills is killing me. I mean, why does she not realize what a total ass Spencer is? And I'm bummed that LC is leaving. Let's not talk about why I am still watching this show. Sigh....
• Frequency is so my favorite movie. It's Jim Caviezel before he was Jesus and Dennis Quaid before he started looking old. I think I've watched it about 100 times in the past two months (it's on cable). If you haven't seen it, see it. Now.
  

Had enough? I think that's about all. Not all that exciting. Miss me much??

Vacation Over

Things here have been crazy, clearly leaving me no time to blog. I'm trying, trying, trying to fit it into my schedule and hopefully will be a bit more organized going forward. But I have something I've been wanting to remember so the best way to remember is to start writing it down...

At the end of January, we gave up our nanny (we'll call her R). She was our third nanny in 6 years, but she was great, most of the time. My work situation changed and now that I work from home, we couldn't justify the expense of full time help anymore. So we gave R ample notice, found her a job with another family and said good-bye. Sort of. The last two weeks she was here, she basically did nothing outside of irritate me like crazy, so when it came time for her to leave, it was more like good riddance, as opposed to good bye. R's new employer is another local family that is an acquaintance of a friend (we'll call her K), and I had never met them up until a few weeks ago when we were introduced at a birthday party. We exchanged pleasantries, limited our conversation to "hello" and "nice to meet you" and went our separate ways. Which pretty much was why what happened the following week was so totally confusing.

I haven't spoken to R since we said good riddance good bye almost 2 months ago. She called a few times afterwards but we didn't connect, so I've written the relationship off as over and done. We met her through a friend's nanny who lives around the block (we'll call her X) and the two nannies are still friends. About two weeks ago, 7pm at night, our phone rings and it's X calling from around the block. Here's the conversation.

Friend's Nanny X: Hi Amy
Me: Hi X, how are you?
X: Fine - listen, K asked me to call you and see if you could come here, pick up her kids and R and drive them home to her house.
Me: Umm....what???? [because I couldn't imagine that I had heard her correctly]
X: K's kids and R are here with me and K is in the city and she realized it's late so she wanted to know if you could bring R and her kids home.
Me: No, sorry, kids are in the bath, I can't.
X: Oh, okay, thanks anyway.

Now, this really happened. A woman who I met one time and barely said hello to had someone call me at 7pm at night in the rain, ask me to pick up her kids at their friend's house and drive them home. Is this normal? Not in my world.

I've been thinking for the past few weeks that there had to be something more to the story, something that got lost in translation from K to X to me.

Yesterday, I spoke to a mutual acquaintance (who is due with her third child in 2 days) and went through the story. Her response was, "Ya, that sounds about right. K is pretty ballsy, she definitely expected you to do it. Oh, and by the way, she called me that night too because she was in the city running late to meet her husband for dinner."

There's really no way to end this story because there was no resolution. I never called her and asked what the issue was, she never called me to apologize for being, well, ballsy is the best word I can think of. So really, it just ends with me still being baffled and hoping that she never calls me again.

Our February Vacation

Being home with my kids after 6 years of working full time and having full time help is much harder than I thought it would be. Of course it's fun being able to be here with them and be at their schools, we are just coming off of a whole week of school vacation which meant lots of together time while my husband was working. Lots. And lots. The week was a little rough because Camryn naps in the afternoon which left me and Aaron unable to leave the house. At the beginning of the week I was really worried. What would I do without the distraction of school and homework and the regular rush of the school day?

Monday was President's Day and while almost everyone and their mother's offices were closed for the holiday, my husband's office was open. And everyone was working. So off he went to work at 730am and immediately Camryn starts wailing. Why? Because although we thought she was sleeping, she wasn't, and she saw Daddy get into his car and drive away without saying goodbye to her. Not a great start to a very long week! She got over it and Camryn, Aaron and myself went on a playdate with a boy that Aaron goes to camp with who has a younger brother the same age as Camryn. They all played nicely, although the little boy was constipated and didn't feel well. But they had a great playdate and when we got home around 2pm, Camryn napped and Aaron and I baked cupcakes. End of day thought: This week won't be so bad after all!

Tuesday was the one day that we didn't have any premade plans. We hung around the house in the morning, kids watched TV and I tried to get some work done. Keyword = tried. Didn't get, um, anything done. The kids and I decided that we would go to Bertucci's for some pizza lunch and then head over to Barnes & Noble where they were both allowed to get one book. We ate a great lunch and they each wound up with 2 books from Barnes & Noble, and after I paid I realized that Aaron has about $75 in gift cards to Borders that he got for his birthday. We got home, Camryn took a nap, Aaron watched TV and I, once again, tried to get some work done. My mom came over to babysite while I got ready and went into the city for the exclusive Yanni Voices preview concert and left for NYC. End of day thought: Two days down, three to go.

Wednesday was playdate day. Camryn went over to her friend's house while her friend's brother came here to play with Aaron. The boys played their games and Nintendo DS downstairs and I was upstairs getting work done. Everything was great until about lunchtime when Aaron's friend declared everything we had for lunch "disgusting". Hmm. Don't all kids eat macaroni and cheese, pizza and chicken nuggets? Now, I have had my share of my own kids being disagreeable and I can handle it just as well as the next mom. But when the whining starts, I just want to shrivel up and die. I really just can't deal with whining. When my kids whine, they know that it's not tolerated here. But how do you deal with someone else's kid whining? Clearly I can't send him to his room or tell him he's acting like a baby. So it was about 30 minutes of time that I would have rather spent watching paint dry than listening to this child whine about not wanting to eat any of the things I offered him. Finally he agreed to eat chicken nuggets and was fine the rest of the time. Around 2pm he went home and both my kids were exhausted, as was I, so we spent the rest of the day recuperating. End of day thought: I hope that my kids don't whine when they're on playdates.

On Thursday, my very best friend and her two kids were set to come over for yet another playdate, which we wound up canceling because Camryn didn't fell well. My friend has a 6 month old and both of her kids had just gotten over various sicknesses so she wasn't entering the house of germs. The kids and I spent the whole day doing pretty much nothing outside of the two kids fighting and me threatining to send them to their rooms about 700 times during the day. End of day thought: Is it Friday yet?

Friday. One of my most favorite words, beaten out only by Saturday and maybe 3 others. On Friday we were supposed to have a playdate with a friend of Aaron's from nursery school but it didn't work out. We had talked about staying home, cleaning up, doing some laundry and getting along. Around 11am, I got a phone call from the mom of the kids from Wednesday's playdate asking if she could come and pick up BOTH of my kids and bring them to her house for another playdate because her kids were bored. Um, what? You don't have to ask me twice. Now come over before you change your mind! And she did. She picked up both my kids, who were beyond thrilled to go with her, and brought them to play with her kids. And surprise her kids nonetheless. I did pick up Camryn around 2pm so she could come home and nap, but Aaron stayed there until about 415 when we picked him up to go get a haircut. After that, a quick visit to Grandma and Grandpa and guess what? Week was over! End of day thought: Yay!!

So, this vacation taught me alot. Like what? I think I'll use this on Tuesday for my "What I Learned This Week" carnival, hosted by Musings of A Housewife! Stay tuned....

I'm back. I hope. Life has gotten totally busy lately and I haven't gotten to be able to do the things I want. Like blogging. And reading. And relaxing. Lately it's been all about working. And making sales. And talking about the site. And meeting with clients. And the kids. And cleaning the house. And laundry. Please don't get me started with the laundry.

It's all good because this is what I have wanted all along.

But somewhere I am losing myself because at the end of the day, there's cleaning to be done, things to be put away, a to-do list longer than when the day started and lots and lots of work to do. And I'm exhausted.

I was never confident that I could be a SAHM. I don't think I ever really wanted to. I have always been a better mom when I could spend time with my kids not worrying about cleaning. And laundry. And work.

Now it's all on me. And I'm not complaining at all, I'm just trying to figure out a way to organize it all. And get it all done. And it's really, really hard.

I started this blog as a way for me to connect with my thoughts on a more personal level than on my business website. Somewhere along the line, I decided that every single post needed to be thought provoking. And witty. And meaningful. But I realized, they are all of those things. To me. And that's really all they ever need to be.

So I'm back. I hope. My posts may not say anything at all sometimes, but to me, that's the point. This is somewhere where I can relax. And unwind. And review my day and my kids and make sure that I don't forget the really, really small things that I always want to remember.

25 Random Things

Here's a fact: I love Facebook. I'll admit it, I really love it. But right now, I'm cheating. I got something on Facebook that challenged me to write 25 random things about myself, so I did. And now it's my most recently blog post. Talk about time management and multi-tasking!

1. I never went to sleepaway camp and instead went to a performing arts camp and my husband makes fun of me for that. Alot.
2. I'm the petrified of sickness and death for anyone in my family.
3. I think that my kids are the funniest kids I've ever met and that they're less obnoxious than alot of kids I know.
4. I love movie soundtracks.
5. I would be in big trouble if I ever lost my Blackberry.
6. I love most reality tv.
7. I have a blog but don't tell anyone from my "real life" about it.
   
8. I started taking piano lessons when I was three years old and continued for 15 years. I stopped playing in front of people when I was 12 because I had a bad experience with a NYSSMA judge.
9. One of my favorite movies is Frequency and I've watched it on cable four times in the last week.
10. This is the first time in 6 years that I will not have full time childcare/household help.
11. I have two separate sets of in-laws who are not related to each other by blood.
12. I have known my husband and one set of my in-laws since I'm in 5th grade.
13. I wish my grandma had been alive to meet even one of my kids but am happy that my son was named after her.
14. I believe in psychics and that certain people have the ability to communicate with people after they've died.
15. My son shares a birthday with my mother in law who passed away in 1985.
16. My very best friend has been my very best friend since kindergarten.
17. I hate when someone is mad at me or when I think that someone is mad at me.
18. I love that owning LIParentSource.com has allowed me to do so many cool things, like being invited to an all expense paid weekend in Disney World last year with 20 amazing moms that I never would have met otherwise.
19. I love that although it is so huge, the internet makes the world so much smaller.
20. I think it's amazing that 34 year old women have the same friend problems as 14 year old girls.
21. I love that although I had to twist Rebecca's arm really hard to get her to join Facebook last year, she has finally reached 500 friends and loves Facebook more than I do.
22. I love that so many of our real life friends have been our friends since high school or before. There's so much history there.
23. I think it's adorable to hear my son talk about his "girlfriend" and how they're going to get married. He's only 6 years old.
24. I don't feel old enough to have a 6 year old child in kindergarten.
25. In the last year, I've learned alot about who in my life are real friends.
    

Things are SO not getting better...

I apologize in advance for all the vomit talk lately, but seriously, this is my life right now. We last left off with Camryn's puke fest on Saturday afternoon. Sunday all day she was totally fine. Like absolutely herself, healthy and happy kid. Monday morning, same thing, totally fine. I was thrilled, we were out of the woods. Stomach viruses gone. Aaron goes to school, Camryn goes to school and I pick her up after school at 1230. They said she had a great day, ate her pizza for lunch and was very happy. On the way home, she starts getting cranky, but I figured it was because she was tired. We get home, she goes in for a nap and sleeps for about an hour, waking up around 3pm crying and she didn't seem to feel well. After a little while, she vomits. In the sink, which was a huge bonus. But still vomits.. Then she's tired, lays on the couch and watches Dora for awhile and then by dinner time is totally fine. I figured it was a lingering effect of the stomach virus and that it was over. Until the same thing happened again today!

This morning she was fine. Ate breakfast, played. Went to her friend's house with our babysitter and ate lunch, coming home around 2pm. Oh, one thing I forgot to mention was that I woke up with the stomach virus and vomiting this morning. Anyway, Camryn comes home, goes in for a nap and sleeps for about an hour, waking up at around 3pm crying. I sat with her in the rocking chair and she vomits. All over me. Then she was tired again, laid on the couch and watched Dora for awhile and now she seems to be feeling better.

It's all really odd. The doctor thinks its the lingering effects of the stomach virus but my mind is racing and hoping that's all it is.

You Take The Good, You Take The Bad...

Today was Aaron's birthday party. After two days this week of his having a stomach virus, he was healthy and ready for his party today. For his 6th birthday, he wanted a movie party. Actually, first he wanted a party at one of those places where they have a gazillion inflatables to jump on, but the idea of a bunch of 5 and 6 year old kids running around and jumping on everything just didn't thrill me. When we talked about the idea of a movie party, what could be more perfect for a kid who loves everything about movies? It also didn't hurt that it was the least expensive of any of the party options, by far. After the debacle last year of the bowling party that cost an obscene amount of money and Aaron cried almost the entire party, this movie party was a great option.

The theater where we had the party at was great. It isn't one of these enormous 15 theater corporate owned movie theaters, but instead a privately owned four theater movie theater. They're really smart - 4 parties at 10am each Saturday and Sunday. When we got there, Aaron's name was on the marquee outside with a big "Happy Birthday" which was really cute. We had our own theater and when we walked in, there were two big tables set up down in front with popcorn, drinks and bagels with cream cheese and butter. Kids chose what they wanted to eat and took their seats. Aaron chose to see The Tale of Desperaux which he has been wanting to see since he saw the previews long ago at another movie. Everyone sat, parents stayed and they ate and watched the movie. At the end of the movie, we all sang happy birthday, he blew out the candles and cupcakes were served. Thanks for coming, the end. Truth be told, I can't wait for the day when Aaron wants to take a few friends to a hockey game or some other sporting event for his birthday. But I do have to say that this party ran so smoothly, even Aaron asked if he could have his party there again next year.

After the party we lugged home his loot brought home his presents and I took Camryn to the end of her nursery school friend's birthday party. After that, Craig's brother came over with 3 of his 4 kids and all the kids played and Camryn took a nap. Understand that Camryn is a champion sleeper. She's almost 3 years old and her naps are generally 2 - 3 hours, sometimes longer. Today she was exhausted when she went down, and when she woke up crying after only an hour, I was surprised. I went in, took her out of the crib (yes, she's still in a crib, no comments please), sat down in the rocking chair and she puked all over me. Red icing from the cupcake she ate at Aaron's party was everywhere. Literally everywhere. All over her, all over me. It was not pretty. Of course, Craig had just left so I had to yell for Aaron to help me. Here's some advice - never ask a 6 year old to help you clean up puke - too much "Mom, that's gross" and "Man, that stuff stinks" like he has never puked before! Oh, and I also made him call Craig and make him come home.I'm not a wimp but really and truly , I was covered in puke with a puke covered baby crying in my lap and I couldn't get up without getting it all over the floor and everywhere else. What a mess. Finally we got cleaned up and she was puking on and off until around 8pm tonight. Really gross. Now she's sleeping and I'm hoping there's no middle of the night calling of my name.

So although mostly good, today was a very long day. And exhausting. And long. Not to mention that our plans tonight were canceled because of the snow, so I'm really ready to watch some DVR and go to bed.

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Today was a day that I just didn't want to face.
I didn't want to open my eyes.
I didn't want to get out of bed.
I didn't want to work.
I didn't want to talk to anyone.
I didn't want to do anything.

Maybe it was the weather. Or the headache that I have been waking up with almost every morning for the past week. Or maybe it was just a day that my body and mind were screaming out for rest.

We're all entitled right? Even moms.

As lousy as today was, I made a decision that I will not let this put me into a funk. 2009 is the year of thinking positively. And reaching goals. And succeeding.

Tomorrow is another day.

It's a New Year - Play With Me!

2009 is a brand new year with a few resolutions that I've made. One of the things I want to do in 2009 is to blog with some regularity. Yes, with everything else I've got going on, I did pick this up during 2008, but I love it. Writing is such a release and it soothes me. What a better way to start this writing than with a great meme picked up from my Disney friend Jo-Lynne over at Musings of a Housewife! Leave a comment and a link below if you play along----

1. What did you do in 2008 that you had never done before?

I went on two trips by myself relating to the website I started in 2006. These trips were important to me because as someone who has total anxiety of doing things with no one I know, I took these trips with groups of women I had never met before. Definitely major.

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I don't think I made any resolutions last year, other than probably to go to the gym, which I don't think I did once during 2008.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Yes, a bunch of friends had babies this year, and my best friend had her second baby!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Unfortunately yes. You can read all about Bill here. We really, really miss him.

5. What countries did you visit?

None outside of the USA, unless you count my visit to Epcot where I visited a boatload of countries in a few hours!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

More patience with my kids. And an incredible business year.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

May 30th when we went away for a night with great friends and saw Billy Joel in concert at Mohegan Sun, and May 31, the night that my father in law passed away.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being asked to be a part of some great events like the Mommy Blogger Mixer at Disney, the Not In My House launch and the Mommy Blogger Monologues.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not having the patience to keep my cool and not yell at my kids. I'm a huge yeller, something I'm trying really, really hard to work on.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I almost broke my hand in February when I tripped over my husband's foot and went flying into the pole holding up our granite countertop. About a week later, I wound up with the flu and spent 5 days in bed. Probably the longest and most exhausting 2 weeks of my life. Thinking about them now is still horrendous.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

For Mother's Day, my husband had been listening to me and bought me a MacBook, which I exchanged for an iMac which I LOVE LOVE LOVE. Oh, and the Wii, of course!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Not my 6 year old's - he seems to be unlearning the art of listening.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

A few people who I thought were amazing friends disappointed me this year. It's pretty unfortunate.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Seriously, it's almost embarrassing to say but I really have no idea. It seems to go out faster than it comes in. Maybe our mortgage. Or ridiculous real estate taxes. Or income taxes. Or my kids as they SUCK the money right out of our bank account? I could keep going but I'll spare myself that pain.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

(Sorry Jo-Lynne but I had to steal your answer here...) Getting asked to go to Disney World with Maria Bailey! That was SUCH a surprise and a treat.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

This one I will have to think hard about.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) I'm happier. My kids are doing great and enjoying school and I am thrilled with their schools, something that I couldn't say for most of the last three years.

b) Definitely fatter. In fact the lovely Wii Fit told me last night I gained 8.14 pounds since the last time I used it. Definitely not something I was wanting to hear.

c) Hmmm today definitely a little poorer since I walked out of my job. However, we're watching every single penny so it's probably for the best. And, 2009 is going to be a huge year for my website so hopefully the poorer part won't last too much longer. (See, already thinking positively!)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending more quality time with my kids and husband.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Yelling. Yup, definitely yelling.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Day we did what the entire Jewish population in New York did - went to the movies in the morning and Chinese food for dinner.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

With so many ideas. The idea of working for myself. The idea of becoming a huge success. The idea of helping people.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

A much easier question would be my LEAST favorite TV program. Most favorite? Lots to choose from. Grey's Anatomy is sort of jumping the shark, but I do love Private Practice, The Ghost Whisperer and a whole host of reality tv shows including The Biggest Loser and a love/hate relationship with The Bachelorette.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I wouldn't say hate exactly, but there have been some relationship changes during this past year.

25. What was the best book you read?

Twilight, for sure. I didn't get to read that much this year but this one stands out.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Dixie Chicks. I'm generally not a huge fan of country music but I think these chicks are awesome.

27. What did you want and get?

Lots of love and support from my family.

28. What did you want and not get?

To win the lottery. A few million bucks could definitely help us out.

29. What was your favorite film this year?

Unfortunately most of the films I saw this year were for the 5 and under crowd. I did though see Twlight (which totally stunk) and Sex and the City, which I loved, so I'll go with that.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

On my birthday, we went for a sushi dinner (without the kids) and then came home for cake with our family. It was nice and simple and fun, exactly what I wanted.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I would have liked to have been working for myself the whole year and growing my business. I feel like I didn't have enough time to devote this year so certain aspects of the business suffered. 2009 is going to be the big year for that.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Very casual and comfortable. Like I love wearing cute sweatpants & hoodies or leggings and a shirt.

32. What kept you sane?

My husband's understanding of my need for alone time at certain times.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I'll go with Patrick Dempsey. Even though every time I see his face I think of You Can't Buy Me Love, I still think he's totally hot.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The whole election, of course.

36. Who did you miss?

My grandma. She passed away March 2, 2002 and never got to meet either of my kids. I think she would get such a kick out of them, it makes me sad alot of the time.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

My mommy blogger friends. I never knew any group of women to be so amazing and inspiring. They come from different places with different experiences but are so strong and ridiculously awesome.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

People are not always what they seem. Its' a hard and sad lesson, but absolutely true. I've learned who my friends are and who they aren't and what types of people I want to surround myself with.

Okay, YOUR turn!

My Mailman Brings Good Cheer

One of the best things about running a resource guide for families is having the ability to connect parents to the information that they need. Something else that's so great about it is having the ability to connect businesses to the information that they need. So a few weeks back when someone I had met a few times called me and told me that she was working for a major magazine now that was revamping their image and she needed a few moms to survey in order for this magazine to revamp their marketing strategy, I was more than happy to put them in touch with a few moms. She did promise that she would send each mom a small present for participating, so I made a few phone calls and sent her a list of 10 moms to call who would be interested in talking to her. Okay, so they were mostly friends of mine, but still, clearly that has it's perks!

A few weeks ago, Self Made Mom posted about joining the frugalista movement which involved missing her Starbucks nonfat-extra-hot-no-water-chai. This happens to be my drink of choice as well, and given my leaving my job, I've also cut out the chai, outside of a few desperate moments.

So how thrilled was I when a $25 gift card to Starbucks arrived in my mailbox from my magazine friend as a thank you for helping her with her survey? Let's just say that for 5 days in a row, I was able to savor the delicious taste of my nonfat-extra-hot-no-water-chai. Guilt free.

On Paper, It's Simple

When my daughter was born almost 3 years ago, I was working full time. Although the job was great on paper, I truly couldn't stand it. It was almost a crying-every-morning-as-I-got-out-of-bed type of job. There were alot of things I couldn't stand about it, but first and foremost I was working for an super-extra-large company where the work that I did mattered pretty much only to my boss and his boss. My boss and his boss were both generally disliked so our chain of command was pretty much classified as "the red-headed-step-child" of the department. My responsibilities mostly depended on other people completing their responsibilities, so there was an unbearable amount of waiting around. Oftentimes I would spend my day surfing the internet or having extra long lunches due to the lack of work, but when my colleagues sent me their completed items at 4:45pm and went home, I would wind up having to stay for another 3 - 4 hours to put their information into my highly convoluted spreadsheets. All around it sucked and although the medical benefits were truly amazing, I couldn't stay there. It wasn't for me. Or my desire to stay sane.

Since my days were often spent waiting for other employees to complete their work, I had a good amount of time on my hands. I started daydreaming of starting my own business and working for myself. Those daydreams eventually turned to serious thinking. Why couldn't I do something on my own? I went through a number of opportunities until I found the right one, and within a few months, Long Island Parent Source was born. Described as an online guide that centralizes resources for families on Long Island, it slowly gained popularity. I soon left my job for a part time job, giving me the ability to put more work into the site. We all know how that ended, so we''ll just move on.

Right now, I find myself with time. As a mom, I've become accustomed to saying and feeling "I just don't have time" but now that Aaron is in school and Camryn is with our babysitter, during the daytime working hours, I truly have time. Time to work. Time I should be spending calling businesses, educating them about the site, giving them information and working with them to get their business listed in our directory. Because businesses listing in our directory means that they pay actual money. Doesn't seem so hard, right?

Wrong. On paper, it sounds so simple. Pick up the phone. Dial. Tell someone about the site. Get them listed. The end. In actuality, it's not that easy. Why? Because I am scared. Petrified. Like ready to vomit and have an anxiety and panic attack and want to cry at the thought of the dreaded S word - SALES. There are so many reasons this shouldn't be an obstacle for me. Generally I can talk to anyone. I love the site. I am so passionate about helping families and helping businesses. It's an easy thing for me to talk about. And the ultimate reason being that if this website doesn't work out for me on the sales front, I'm on my way back to an office job working for someone else - something I DO NOT want to do. Under any circumstances. Because I've tasted the sweetness of this independent life and I want it to continue. Forever and ever.

I love having the freedom to work for myself. I work during the day but can also run errands, be visible at both of my kids' schools and spend time with my kids after school. The other side of it is that I wind up putting in more hours than I would at another type of job because there's no guaranteed paycheck hitting my bank account every other Friday.

So today, I put on my big girl underwear (it's an expression, my friends) and made 10 (count 'em, TEN) cold calls to local businesses. Nine bowling alleys and a book store. One person didn't even let me speak before he hung up on me, others transferred me to someone's voice mail and still others gave me a name of someone I should speak to. The important thing to me though was not getting someone on the phone, it was actually dialing the number and speaking when the person answered the phone. Not hanging up on someone was a HUGE milestone for me. Yes, pretty sad, I know, but this is me. And I did it. Really did it. And I didn't vomit. Or have a panic attack. Or get struck by a lightning bolt coming out of the sky.

Today I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm making a goal for 2009 is that twice each week I will call 10 businesses. And then the following week I will follow up with those businesses. I will become the type of salesperson that businesses want to talk to because I will prove to them that I am here to help them, not to shmooze them into sending me a check. 2009 will be a great year for me. For LIParentSource.com. For my family. Because we will all be successful in everything we set out to do.

Bedtime Stories

From the time Aaron was little, he had a routine at bedtime. We would read books and then sit with him in the rocking chair while his CD was playing music until he fell asleep. Then, and only then, we would carefully maneuver him into his crib. If he woke up, the whole thing would start all over again. Some nights were relatively quick, while others took hours. He would sleep with various stuffed animals and a number of pacifiers (one for his mouth, one for each hand and a few extra just in case). When he turned two years old he cried every single night because all he wanted to do was sleep in my bed. We let him "cry it out" a number of times which got harder as he got older because he would yell actual words ("Mommy, I need you, come here please") as opposed to just general wailing. When he was about two and a half years old, I would have to sit on the floor and hold his hand while he fell asleep in his crib. That ended pretty quickly after one night of my pregnant self not being able to get up from the floor. By the time he came out of his crib at 3 years and 2 months old, he transitioned pretty easily into a bed. (Please no comments about how old he was when he came out of the crib - if I hadn't needed it for Camryn when she was born, he still might be in the crib!). The routine changed, but didn't get much shorter. The new routine consisted of reading books, telling stories and then laying there with him for awhile. Not until he fell asleep, but for a good while. At almost 6 years old, his bedtime routine consists of reading a book, talking a little and then he goes to sleep. Good night, see ya tomorrow.

When Camryn was born, I swore up, down and sideways that she would NOT have any type of bedtime routine. We would put her into the crib when she was awake and she learned to put herself to sleep. No pacifer. No 45 minute route. No sitting on the floor while she fell asleep. Just bottle and crib. Good night. She has always been a great sleeper, going to bed at 7pm and waking up at 7am. When she woke up, she would play in her crib until we came in to get her. We thought we did it - we had at least one child who could go to bed quickly. Until now. At two and a half years old, Camryn now required a crazy bedtime routine. First she and Aaron jump on Aaron's bed (with Craig's supervision, of course). When they're done jumping, they lay down and Craig reads them a book. Camryn doesn't always listen, but it's usually a relatively short book, with outbursts of "Camryn, stop" and "Camryn, sit down." They get through the book, have already brushed teeth and washed hands and then Camryn goes into her room. After she needs a drink/ different pajama pants/different socks/has to pee, she needs to hear a story. Not a book, but a made up story. With Craig, he makes up elaborate stories. Not me. With me, she gets the same story every night. She picks the character (Miss Beth/Miss JudiAnn/Mr. Chris/Mr. Nick/Shrek/Fiona/Dora/Diego/Boots/Swiper) and then whoever she picks goes to school and hurts their knee. Don't look at me - she asks for this story. Every. Single. Solitary. Night. Multiple times!

So, alas, both of my kids have crazy bedtime routines where we start putting them to bed about an hour and a half before we actually walk out of their bedrooms. It's a giant pain. However, in my heart of hearts, I know I shouldn't complain because one day I will want to tell Camryn the story of whoever hurt their knee, have her jump on Aaron's bed or sit with Aaron until he falls asleep.