World's Worst Mom

Have you ever felt like the world's worst mom? I have. Yesterday. And today. And I'm afraid that I will feel like that tomorrow. Let's start with the excuses.

#1 - My husband is away. Not only is he away, but he's been away since Saturday. Which means that I was on my own most of the weekend. Today is Tuesday. And it's his birthday. It's been a long 4 days.

#2 - THe weather sucked. It poured rain yesterday and today. My dog was pissed off because he couldn't go outside. He's also pissed because my husband isn't home. So last night for about 30 minutes, he just barked. Loudly. When my kids were sleeping. He's a 90 pound dog, he does not bark quietly.

#3 - I had to work. Not at my own business, but at my job. You know, the one that pays me so that my kids can eat? At this job, I had to listen to this woman yell at me on the phone for about 30 minutes. That's 30 minutes in addition to the 40 minutes she yelled at me on Thursday of last week and the 10 minute voice mail message she left me yesterday. And guess what? She only had about 3 things that she wanted to say. Over. And over. And over again.

#4 - I was totally under the gun getting a marketing piece together for an event I'm doing on Tuesday. This one is for my own business, so it's last on the list because I only sort of mind. I'll bet though that it's at the top of my graphic designer's list of why she hated today. Every time we thought we were done, we weren't. But we finally got done and if I say so myself, the piece is awesome. I hope people like it.

So because of all of those reasons above, I think I yelled at my son for the whole 3 hours I was with him yesterday. And today. Why? Let's see....

#1 - Because when his 2 year old sister hit him (hard) he laughed. So she laughed. I said stop and she hit him again. Harder. And then he cried.

#2 - Because when his 2 year old sister pinched his tushy, he laughed. So she laughed. I said stop and she pinched him again. Harder. And then he cried.

#3 - Because he doesn't listen. He's hitting his sister. I tell him to stop. He hits her again. I tell him to stop. So he hits her again. So I yell at him to stop.

#4 - Because every time I said it was time for him to go to bed, he whined. 5 more minutes mom. Okay fine, really because I didn't want to get up either. And then it was another 5 minutes. And another 5 minutes. And finally it was 830 and he really needed to go to bed because he was rolling around on the floor. That means he's tired, in 5 year old body language.

I'm sure there were a million other reasons I yelled at him. Good reasons? Probably not. But I feel like lately I am extremely short on patience. So last night when I put him to bed, the conversation went like this:

Me: I'm sorry if I was a little not so nice to you tonight.
5 year old son: Mommy, you were nice. You just yelled at me alot. But it's okay.

Did you hear that? Yes, that was my heart breaking.

So I spoke to my friend and said I think I'm the world's worst mom. She said that she was - she was sitting on the couch with her baby son and they both fell asleep, and she dropped him. On the floor. He's okay, but did she win?

I hope tomorrow will be better.