On Paper, It's Simple

When my daughter was born almost 3 years ago, I was working full time. Although the job was great on paper, I truly couldn't stand it. It was almost a crying-every-morning-as-I-got-out-of-bed type of job. There were alot of things I couldn't stand about it, but first and foremost I was working for an super-extra-large company where the work that I did mattered pretty much only to my boss and his boss. My boss and his boss were both generally disliked so our chain of command was pretty much classified as "the red-headed-step-child" of the department. My responsibilities mostly depended on other people completing their responsibilities, so there was an unbearable amount of waiting around. Oftentimes I would spend my day surfing the internet or having extra long lunches due to the lack of work, but when my colleagues sent me their completed items at 4:45pm and went home, I would wind up having to stay for another 3 - 4 hours to put their information into my highly convoluted spreadsheets. All around it sucked and although the medical benefits were truly amazing, I couldn't stay there. It wasn't for me. Or my desire to stay sane.

Since my days were often spent waiting for other employees to complete their work, I had a good amount of time on my hands. I started daydreaming of starting my own business and working for myself. Those daydreams eventually turned to serious thinking. Why couldn't I do something on my own? I went through a number of opportunities until I found the right one, and within a few months, Long Island Parent Source was born. Described as an online guide that centralizes resources for families on Long Island, it slowly gained popularity. I soon left my job for a part time job, giving me the ability to put more work into the site. We all know how that ended, so we''ll just move on.

Right now, I find myself with time. As a mom, I've become accustomed to saying and feeling "I just don't have time" but now that Aaron is in school and Camryn is with our babysitter, during the daytime working hours, I truly have time. Time to work. Time I should be spending calling businesses, educating them about the site, giving them information and working with them to get their business listed in our directory. Because businesses listing in our directory means that they pay actual money. Doesn't seem so hard, right?

Wrong. On paper, it sounds so simple. Pick up the phone. Dial. Tell someone about the site. Get them listed. The end. In actuality, it's not that easy. Why? Because I am scared. Petrified. Like ready to vomit and have an anxiety and panic attack and want to cry at the thought of the dreaded S word - SALES. There are so many reasons this shouldn't be an obstacle for me. Generally I can talk to anyone. I love the site. I am so passionate about helping families and helping businesses. It's an easy thing for me to talk about. And the ultimate reason being that if this website doesn't work out for me on the sales front, I'm on my way back to an office job working for someone else - something I DO NOT want to do. Under any circumstances. Because I've tasted the sweetness of this independent life and I want it to continue. Forever and ever.

I love having the freedom to work for myself. I work during the day but can also run errands, be visible at both of my kids' schools and spend time with my kids after school. The other side of it is that I wind up putting in more hours than I would at another type of job because there's no guaranteed paycheck hitting my bank account every other Friday.

So today, I put on my big girl underwear (it's an expression, my friends) and made 10 (count 'em, TEN) cold calls to local businesses. Nine bowling alleys and a book store. One person didn't even let me speak before he hung up on me, others transferred me to someone's voice mail and still others gave me a name of someone I should speak to. The important thing to me though was not getting someone on the phone, it was actually dialing the number and speaking when the person answered the phone. Not hanging up on someone was a HUGE milestone for me. Yes, pretty sad, I know, but this is me. And I did it. Really did it. And I didn't vomit. Or have a panic attack. Or get struck by a lightning bolt coming out of the sky.

Today I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm making a goal for 2009 is that twice each week I will call 10 businesses. And then the following week I will follow up with those businesses. I will become the type of salesperson that businesses want to talk to because I will prove to them that I am here to help them, not to shmooze them into sending me a check. 2009 will be a great year for me. For LIParentSource.com. For my family. Because we will all be successful in everything we set out to do.